Virtual Coffee Date–Farewell Maternity Leave

 

coffee date

Hello! I apologize for the silence on the blog this week but it’s been a challenging one on this end. Between some early teething, adverse reaction to her four month shots, and my computer getting a virus it has been a challenging few days. But, the good news is that, as everyone says, this is all a phase and this morning all three of us woke up feeling much better. It’s amazing what a good night’s sleep can do especially when sunshine and cooler weather greets you when you wake up! While I am still trying to access the Nursery Tour blog post I put together yesterday before my computer went crazy due to a virus, I though today would be the perfect opportunity to check in with you guys and share some thoughts during a virtual coffee date. I have a lot on my mind and while I’ve shared some of it via Instagram Stories, I know that not everyone uses that platform.

So, refill your coffee mug and join me for a virtual coffee date.

  • If we were sipping coffee together today, I would tell you how thankful I am that my company allowed me to enjoy 4.5 months of maternity leave. This time with Katie, our first child, has been so special and I can’t imagine going back a day sooner.  My maternity leave was 4 months paid followed by vacation and some unpaid leave. We have created so many memories together during this time and really found a great groove. Whether it’s enjoying fresh air during a park workout or reading books together on the nursery rug, it is a time that I know I will always treasure.
  • If we were sipping coffee together today, I would tell you how thankful I am that we found a child care option that works for us. Katie will be joining a nanny share next week and we think it is the best of both worlds. The family where the share is hosted lives just a few minutes away from us and their two boys, ages 1 and 3, will be such wonderful influences on Katie both emotionally and developmentally. A nanny share will help her learn socialization and things like sharing, while the small number will allow the nanny to also give her the attention that we want at this young age. Our nanny is originally from Germany but has been working in New York for 12 years as a nanny.  I know it will be a transition and adjustment for all three of us but we are hopeful that it works well. I will keep you guys posted as we learn our way through the transition.
  • If we were sipping coffee together today, I would tell you that as nervous as I am to transition into a working mom, I am excited for the challenge.  I grew up in a family with a working mom and always thought she handled life’s challenges with such grace especially the way she managed her schedule to be a mom for us and also a full-time nurse. Bo and I had a long conversation about our hopes and expectations which helped during my initial conversation with my manager. Personally, we are going to do our best to be 100% focused on Katie during our morning and evening time with her versus trying to multitask. I have also asked to minimize work travel, when possible, to no more than two nights away at a time. While this won’t always be realistic, I’m thankful that my manager is supportive. I know that my role will stretch and challenge me, especially these first few months and I hope that the challenge will help me keep my mind off of Katie and the hours fly by. But, I have asked that our nanny send me at least a few pictures each day so I get my daily dose of Katie smiles.
  • If we were sipping coffee together today, I would tell you that I am very thankful for the book The Fifth Trimester.  When I opened up on Instagram stories last week about my anxiety around returning to work many of you recommended that I get this book and I can’t thank you enough! It has been so helpful in framing the realities of this period of transition while also giving me the confidence to know that I can do it! Each chapter I find myself nodding my ahead in agreement and taking notes, whether the author is discussing ways to get ready faster or tips for sharing your goals and expectations with your manager post-baby. If you are a working parent or manage parents, I highly recommend you read this book as it is such helpful perspective.
  • If we were sipping coffee together today, I would tell you that I now understand why mom mom always said that she doesn’t know much of the music from the 80’s. These days Bo and I know the words to almost every classic Disney song and nursery rhyme but rarely listen to new, hit music. In fact, the only time I listen to recent hits is during my runs. What songs are you loving right now that I should add to my Spotify playlist? Or, do you have a favorite Spotify playlist?
  • If we were sipping coffee together today, I would tell you that Bo and I are going on our first date this weekend since having Katie! Luckily, a good friend of ours offered to babysit Katie a few times a month. Since this will be our first time leaving her we are going to go out somewhere in the neighborhood after she goes sleep. I’m thankful for good friends and plenty of neighborhood spots for a dinner and drink date night within a few blocks.
  • If we were sipping coffee together today, I would tell you that getting dressed is hilarious these days. I’m totally in between sizes and at this point I think I’m going to wait a few more weeks before buying anything else. I have some great, new Fall accessories like booties and necklaces that will help me put together a few different looks with the basics I’ve purchased. Unfortunately, as many people predicted, one of the blouses I bought three weeks ago is already too big since my 36C boobs have reverted back to 36A. I’m so ready for cooler weather so I can wear leggings, tall boots and sweaters since that is so much easier to wear when I’m at a transitional size. Getting dressed these days presents many of the same challenges I experienced a year ago when I was still trying to hide my pregnancy; I feel a little bit bloated in the mid-section.
  • If we were sipping coffee together today, I would tell you that I’m not sure what the future holds for this blog. Blogging has brought me so much joy over the past eight years and I can’t imagine giving it up altogether. However, creating content takes time and right now I want to spend every spare moment with Katie. Sure, I could blog late at night or early in the morning but those are times that I’d like to reserve for workouts and relaxing with Bo. Don’t interpret this as a farewell, more like a request for some grace and understanding as I navigate the next few months. Since Friday Favorites tend to be the most popular posts of the week, my initial goal is to blog at least two times per week, Monday and Friday, while still sharing content daily on Instagram.                

Okay friends, it’s time for cuddles and playtime with Katie so I’ll talk with you guys more later! Have a wonderful rest of your day and thanks for joining me for this coffee date today!

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12 Comments

  1. B October 25, 2017 / 6:40 pm

    Can you tell how you found your nanny share?

    • ashleyd October 25, 2017 / 7:56 pm

      Sure Bethany! We found the share via our neighborhood mom’s Facebook group.

  2. Ashley @ A Lady Goes West October 25, 2017 / 8:29 pm

    I have a couple of friends here in the Bay Area who do a nanny share, and it’s the greatest arrangement. So glad you found one. Good luck with the transition, Ash! You will rock it!

    • ashleyd October 25, 2017 / 10:07 pm

      We are excited about it and hope it works out! Your little one is so cute!

  3. Dunja October 26, 2017 / 6:45 am

    The nanny share is really cool. If we would have this opportunity we would do this too. But in Switzerland nannys are even more expensive then daycare. It is unbelievable what we have to pay for childcare. But I think this is a reason why so many woman in Switzerland go back on work part time. But for me this was no option as a division manager.
    Enjoy the last days of maternity leave. And you will rock the new challenge like everything in the past! And also enjoy the first date as parents 😉

    • ashleyd October 26, 2017 / 1:18 pm

      Thank you Dunja – we’re excited! I know while there are certain things we miss from Switzerland the cost of childcare is not one of them!

  4. Jessica October 26, 2017 / 10:44 am

    Yay for the nanny share! We have a nanny for our two littles (toddler and infant) and she brings her toddler daughter to our house with her – it really is a great arrangement and I hope it works out beautifully for you, as well! Having returned to work after maternity leave, the two facts that have helped give me perspective on working motherhood are (1) working moms spend just as much if not more quality time with their kids than SAHMs – I can find the study if you’d like – and (2) my kids have a much larger village of people who love them and I have a larger village of people who support me because I work. Obviously every situation is different, but I find these to be true and encouraging in my own.

    You are going to rock this transition! Katie and Bo are blessed to have you – take all the time you need to invest in your higher priorities and we/the internet won’t go anywhere 🙂

    Good luck!

    • ashleyd October 26, 2017 / 1:17 pm

      Thank you so much Jessica for your kind words! I really appreciate the encouragement!

  5. Christina @ montessoriishmom.com October 26, 2017 / 11:24 am

    The nanny share sounds wonderful! I’m a SAHM right now, but if I ever need childcare, I’m definitely going to look into that!

    • ashleyd October 26, 2017 / 1:16 pm

      Thank you! We are thrilled with the option!

  6. Jenna at Boston Chic Party October 26, 2017 / 2:22 pm

    Good luck with the first week back! It’s so special that you had this amazing 1×1 time with Katie! The nanny share and a friend babysitting sounds great!
    xoxo, Jenna
    Bostonchicparty.com

    • ashleyd October 27, 2017 / 7:36 pm

      Thank you so much! The first day went so well!

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