When we said “I do” in front of our family and friends four years ago, neither of us knew what the future would hold. We knew that there was a party to be had with 250 of our closest friends and that we were closing out six years of dating and kicking off a new chapter in our life together. But beyond that, we barely knew what time our flight to Anguilla was Monday morning. We were in love and knew that through love and faith all things were possible.

We never talked about a clear plan for the future. While some couples have clearly defined and agreed upon 2, 3, 5 or even 10 year plans that just isn’t us. Though we are both extremely type A people, when it comes to our personal lives we live in the moment. Once upon a time I thought I would be having children by the time I was 30. Well kids, spoiler alert, I turn 30 in 10 days and am not in my 3rd trimester or even 1st. When the time comes, we will embrace and be thankful for the joy children will bring to our lives. But for now, we have truly loved supporting and growing together over the past few years.

Starting a life together in a new city is never easy. Our parents, who we love and respect more than they will ever know, conveniently live ten miles from each other in Savannah. We have been at least a 2 hour flight from our rocks for 7 years now. The distance forced us to depend on each other not only as husband and wife but as each others friends and advocates. Neither of us knew many people in New York so part of our first year of marriage was establishing a network of friends. But over time those friends came and with those friends came social commitments and wonderful opportunities.

I call year two and three the year of too much. We were over scheduled, over committed and were constantly on the go. Don’t get me wrong. I am thankful for each of the memories whether tropical vacations, ski weekends, late nights out having one too many drinks, the race weekends with friends, blog travels, or trips to either ends of the United States to visit friends. Both sets of parents told us that eventually we’d burn out. We needed to find a balance and take time for ourselves. By November of last year we realized that it was time to slow down a bit. For six months we intentionally started reducing the number of commitments on our calendar, ensuring that there was proper time for just the two of us. I will forever cherish our 3rd year, which we kicked off ice skating arm in arm at Rockefeller Center.

That night was magical. We talked about our life in New York City and how the city with so many rough edges truly felt like home. We reflected on our marriage, laughing at the many bumps we’d lived through whether it be the financial crisis, new jobs or injuries. Little did we know that just a few months later we would be given the opportunity of a lifetime and embrace that, just as we did our move to New York City. The past six months have taught me more about relationships and marriage than the months and years before. This move has brought our relationship full circle to now we once again depend on each other for strength and support. Living in two separate cities in a foreign country could easily have been the downfall of our marriage. Instead, today we are closer than ever before. Things aren’t always as rosy and simple as an Instagram filter.

As I look back on our four years together and the more than 50 years of marriage between our two parents, there is one thing that stands out.

Life is filled with bumps. The only way to become stronger is to embrace them early and communicate often as you navigate over the bumps together.