ashleyd /

Finding the Confidence to Strip

I can’t pinpoint an exact date. There was no epiphany that took place one day. But, over the past year, slowly but surely, I’ve started to enjoy living each day just a little bit more.

For 30 years, I wasted time and energy worrying about what others thought. Would they like the dress I was wearing? Would they think I was too slow? Would they notice those extra layer of softness on my arms? I spent countless hours comparing myself to everyone. This constant struggle caused self-doubt and affected every aspect of my life.

What took me so long to realize is that 99.5% of the other people are too busy and focused on their life that they don’t have time to think about that girl next to them. Whether it’s the girl running next them at the gym or the girl lying next to them at the pool.

In the past six months, I have felt more confident and happier than any other time in my life.

On Saturday, after ten years of running, I finally found the confidence to run in a sports bra. The slight breeze felt cool and refreshing against my skin, and I couldn’t help but smile. I don’t have a six-pack and don’t have a perfect body but I felt strong and I know how hard I’ve worked to feel that way.  Even though the miles didn’t come easy, the feeling of freedom and confidence gave renewed meaning to the run. 

image

After sharing the picture on Instagram and Facebook, I was amazed the number of women who commented. These are women who I’ve considered my inspirations whether for fitness or physique. Somehow, they were amazed that I ran without a shirt. Many of them said they wish they could reach that point.

Unfortunately, there isn’t a magic pill I can prescribe or a book I can recommend to each of you so that you can feel the joy that is, for lack of better words, “not giving a shit.”

The only thing I can do is to beg and plead that each of you find the courage to strip down, whatever that means in your life. Try just one thing that scares you or intimidates you. If you want to strip off the shirt and run in a sports bra, try running in a new area, where you won’t be recognized or run earlier in the day. If you want to practice hot yoga in one layer less, try it at home first, so you get comfortable in your skin. If you want to clip in, but are scared of falling, try riding with only one foot clipped in until you feel comfortable. Want to wear something that isn’t on the pages of this month’s fashion magazine? Own it and wear it with pride.

image   image

Don’t believe it’s that easy? Two of the women who inspire me daily stripped down for their workouts for the first time this week! Both Bonnie and Mindy shared that it felt liberating and helped them realize how far they’ve come in their journey. All it takes is a little bit of confidence and the freedom to not care what others think. I bet you’ll have a high from all that libration and far more time on your hands to focus on the important stuff.

Oh and don’t forget, it is a gradual evolution. As I said, it didn’t click overnight. Slowly but surely I worried less about other people and spent more time focusing on me.  There are moments when I lack confidence or worry about what others think, but it’s far less often than before.

Share Button
Follow:
ashleyd /

Virtual Cappuccino Date

Over the years, I’ve read multiple {Virtual} coffee or wine date posts from my favorite bloggers. These posts, along with Day in The Life posts, tend to be my favorite type of post, as they welcome readers into the person’s life and helps us get to know them better.

Since any of my friends know that my drink of choice since moving abroad is a cappuccino, why don’t you join me today for our first cappuccino date.

If we were sipping a cappuccino together today, I’d tell you that putting myself on a shopping ban has been tough but beneficial. As I’d rather spend money on traveling, I told myself that between Christmas and the next time I’m in the United States, late March, that I wouldn’t shop. There should be no reason I need to shop during this three month period as I have a full closet and overflowing drawers. The urge to wear new things has forced me to dig into my closet and dresser, putting new outfits together and discovering items I forgot I even owned! I finally went through my workout drawers and donated any piece of workout gear that I avoid wearing. We all have this don’t we – a couple of tanks or shorts that don’t fit the way we like and are pushed aside each day when we go to grab an outfit. I donated two bags of tanks, shorts, spandex and sports bras!

If we were sipping a cappuccino together today, I’d tell you that I love how my girlfriends and I have been creative with finding time to catch up. Over the past few months, it’s been virtually impossible to find a night that works for girls’ night dinner. But, instead of letting that mean that we don’t see each other, we’ve met before work for coffee at our favorite coffee shop, gone to yoga or spin together, or hit the pavement for a few pre-work miles. While I love our dinner dates, I’m finding this one on one time even more valuable.

image

If we were sipping a cappuccino together today, I’d tell you how thankful I am for a running coach. Jess has made training an absolute pleasure so far, and she truly is our biggest cheerleader. Since this is her full time job, she can respond quickly to emails and last minute questions before workouts. She’s also worked to create a wonderful family of runners through her #racepacerunners emails and newsletters.

If we were sipping a cappuccino together today, I’d tell you that Bo and I are traveling each of the next seven weeks. While it will be fun and I’m excited to see new places like Venice & Barcelona it can still be overwhelming. Typically this would be exhausting and result in more than a few extra pounds around my waistline. But, Bo and I are finding that by eating clean Monday through Thursday, we can enjoy our weekends away, tasting and eating the local cuisine, without gaining weight or feeling over indulgent. Investing in a coach and training plan is also helping me stay accountable to make time for each of my workouts.

If we were sipping a cappuccino together today, I’d tell you that I never cease to be amazed at the cost of living in Geneva, especially in regards to the price of food. Our friends were shocked last week that just a few bags of ski weekend groceries cost almost 300 CHF. Keep in mind, 1 CHF = 1.06 USD, so the exchange is virtually 1:1. The prices in our basic grocery stores, such as COOP and Migros, make Whole Foods seem like a discount grocery store.

If we were sipping a cappuccino together today, I’d tell you that lately Bo and I have become obsessed with soups and stews. Each week he makes a big batch so we can enjoy it for two nights then freeze the leftovers. There is no easier Sunday meal after a weekend of traveling than defrosted soup, salad and hunk of bread. In fact, last night’s beef & barley stew may be our new favorite.

IMG_9736

If we were sipping a cappuccino together today, I’d tell you that while I love my laptop and iPhone, I’ve started writing things down more and more. For some reason I find that I can think through my thoughts easier when they are on paper. Today alone, I outlined this post and an upcoming presentation on paper before transferring to PowerPoint and LiveWriter.

If we were sipping a cappuccino together today, I’d tell you that while I know that Geneva’s winter has been nothing versus New York City or the rest of the east coast, I’m still craving warmth, sunshine and water.  I’ve already requested a family boating day when I’m in Savannah next month.

If we were sipping a cappuccino together today, I’d tell you that I have enjoyed experimenting with my hair lately. I typically blow dry it each day then run a straightener or serum through it, ridding it of any frizz and wave. But, more often than not, I’m wearing it wavy since I’m lazy and tired of spending thirty minutes in the bathroom blow drying and straightening my hair. This weekend I may go for something a bit more polished, as Courtney’s post inspired me to try to curl my hair with my straightener.  If I don’t burn my hair off while attempting to curl it, hopefully, this will make me feel more put together and stylish for our date night in Venice, the City of Love.

image

How about you, what would you tell me if we were sipping a cappuccino together today?

Share Button
Follow:
ashleyd /

Feels Like Home

I am beginning my 10 month in Geneva. While I have saved you all from the details, not every day has been rosy. The time change is difficult on relationships with friends and family who are in the United States. I miss having an incredible support group of friends both in the health and wellness world and in our personal life. I’ve tried to find some of this through the wonderful group of women in London who are part of Team Naturally Run but only being their once to twice a month has made establishing those relationships difficult. There are moments when I close my eyes and wish nothing more than to be back in the chaotic, easy life we knew in New York City. No, I don’t mean that living in NYC is easy but our life there had just hit this wonderful rhythm. Our groups of friends were merging into one cohesive group, we knew how to find everything in the grocery store, I’d fallen in love with a few group fitness instructors, I was surrounded my friends who pushed me beyond my comfort zone during workouts, my commute was a science, we loved every inch of our neighborhood, I had a wonderful relationship with my co-workers, and the tall buildings and crowded streets which had once overwhelmed and threatened me now felt like home.

When I open my eyes from this dream of living back in NYC,  I remember just how blessed we are. For nine amazing months we’ve discovered London and Geneva together while also traveling across Europe. Our relationship as a couple has strengthened as we’ve figured out what works for us as we deal with the distance four days per week. I have become dependent upon people and opened up in a way that was never necessary back home. While the word dependent can sometimes have a negative connotation, it has been a good thing for me. I tend to be too independent in both work and personal life, wanting to do everything my own way. I’ve come to respect the feedback, opinions, cultures and support that I’ve found in Geneva through my work environment and the group of friends who have become my rocks.

While I can’t transport my family, running buddy or dearest friend to Geneva, I am learning slowly but surely how to invest just a bit more time in making Geneva feel more like a home than a temporary location. Today, instead of running along the familiar banks of Lake Geneva, I spent my morning and evening filling one of the gaps in my life – finding positive energy through group fitness.

For 3 hours today I found support, inspiration and strength in two unique places – the swimming pool and the yoga studio.

IMG_7223[1]IMG_7235[1]

I was nervous before both activities but for very different reasons. I have never swum competitively in my life and this morning’s swim team experience brought together a number of fears: being in a swimsuit in public, seeing co-workers in swimsuits, having a coach scream at me, having a coach prescribe impossible workouts, and gasping for breath in the pool.  My nerves around the yoga class came more from the studio and experience than the class itself. This studio is the only yoga studio I could find on Google which features classes in both French and English along with hours which suit my work schedule. I knew that after this class I would know whether the studio was a fit for me. What I didn’t expect was to fall in love with the teacher, studio, teaching method and space during a 2 hour class which had me attempting crow pose and dripping at just ten minutes into class.

I walked home tonight, through the quiet Geneva streets, feeling just a little bit more at home.

Share Button
Follow: